[TED]1 Thing You Can Do Today to Be Happier
I’m a happiness scientist, and I’ve been a happiness scientist for 36 years. For my entire professional career, I’ve been obsessed with learning the secrets to being a happy person – with trying to answer the question: Can anyone become happier?
Now how do we even study something like that? Well, in 1998, my lab pioneered what we call happiness interventions. Happiness interventions are experiments with human participants. Over the years, we’ve done dozens of these experiments, testing whether practices like expressing gratitude or doing acts of kindness or simply acting like an extrovert make people happier. And they do. Under the right conditions.
My students and I spent decades doing these experiments. This work made my career, and yet I realized that I hadn’t really been listening to what the data were trying to tell me. And then it finally clicked. It dawned on me that almost all of the interventions that work to make us happier, they work precisely because they help us feel more connected to and loved by others. So writing a gratitude letter to my mom makes me feel more loved by her. And doing an act of kindness for my colleague makes me feel closer to him. In other words, what I learned is that to be a better happiness scientist, I had to become a love scientist. Because, as it turns out, the key to happiness is feeling connected and loved.